Achieving orgasm is one of the end – goals of having sex. However, the occurrence of orgasm following sexual intercourse or the time taken to achieve it varies for every person. This individual orgasmic disparity is even more evident gender-wise.
While the average male will orgasm in less than two to ten minutes of sexual activity, the average female, on the other hand, requires about 20 minutes of sexual activity to reach the peak of sexual arousal. This would seem unfair as the female orgasm is known for its longevity than that of the male.
In addition to this, women are known to experience multiple orgasms in one bout of sex, unlike men. Women have the advantage of not having to deal with the refractory period that is experienced by men.
The refractory period is a restful phase that occurs in men after reaching climax due to a drop in testosterone levels, it is the time taken to become aroused again after reaching orgasm. The refractory period prevents a man from getting aroused by any form of stimulation following initial stimulation and can last for some minutes or even hours.
Unlike men, women do not need to recover from the effects of orgasm before they are ready for another round of sex or stimulation, hence they can experience multiple orgasms at a go. Despite all these advantages, women still find it difficult to reach orgasm or take a longer time to reach orgasm.
Numerous studies have shown that the majority of women have never reached orgasm during penetrative intercourse.
Women’s orgasm is often not a topic for discussion like that of men, perhaps because the male orgasm is more pronounced as it is followed by the ejaculation of semen, while that of the female has no external signs. Hence, it is easy to miss the signs of an orgasm in a woman.
Also, a number of women fake orgasms, which gives misleading information that women have no troubles when it comes to reaching the peak of sexual arousal. However, research has proved this to be a misconception. In fact, women do find it tasking to reach orgasm during heterosexual intercourse (intercourse that involves a partner of the opposite sex).
Research has shown that most women attain orgasm mostly through clitoral stimulation as opposed to vaginal penetration. The clitoris has about 8000 sensory nerves which are double the number found on the penis.
Stimulating the clitoris by hand, orally or with sex toys can provide a faster orgasm for women than vaginal penetration. Although every woman has different preferences when it comes to stimulation, most women admit to deriving extreme pleasure from clitoral stimulation which often culminates into orgasm.
Women often reach the height of sexual excitement when they masturbate by touching their clitoris. In this case, orgasm takes about eight minutes to occur.
The time taken to reach orgasm (orgasmic latency) may be more extended in women than in men during sexual intercourse because of insufficient or lack of clitoral stimulation. Heterosexual intercourse mostly revolves around penetration only and more often than not, the clitoris is not given enough attention.
The Female Orgasm
A recent study that surveyed orgasmic latency in women threw more light on this. The study which was published in the journal of sexual medicine reported that women attained sexual climax more quickly during masturbation than during heterosexual intercourse.
The researchers centered their survey around 2, 304 women in their mid to late twenties. They made use of questionnaires where women answered questions related to sexual history, arousal, orgasm, and sexual problems.
The women were categorized into two; those who experienced difficulties with orgasms were identified as the “OD group”, those who didn’t have issues with reaching orgasm were identified as “Non – OD group”.
The OD group were reported to need about 17 minutes to reach climax during sex, while the non-OD required about 12 minutes only. The OD group also needed just about 9 minutes to reach orgasm during masturbation.
When it came to orgasmic satisfaction, about 60% of the women reported that orgasms during penetrative intercourse with a partner were more satisfying. 7% of the population stuck with masturbation as having more pleasurable orgasms, while 8% maintained that orgasms from heterosexual intercourse and self-stimulation were both satisfying.
The study linked to age and relationship satisfaction with reaching orgasm quickly during penetrative intercourse. Perhaps, this is because women, as they age, tend to gain more sexual experience and are better equipped to communicate how they want to be pleasured during intercourse with their partners.
A long orgasmic latency was linked to anxiety over reaching orgasm and poor stimulation that lead to poor sexual arousal. However, the researchers emphasized the need for more studies that will capture a large database of females of different age brackets and backgrounds, for a more cogent result.
Research has also pointed out that other factors aside from insufficient or the absence of clitoral stimulation may be responsible for the extended time taken for women to reach climax during intercourse.
A Finland sex survey that made use of two data sets found that women responded differently to Orgasms. The results of the survey also highlighted other factors that may be responsible for long orgasmic latency in women which included mental and relationship reasons. Sex drive, self-esteem, orgasm importance, and communication, were the factors highlighted.
The two data sets involved 6, 155 women, and 2,049 women respectively. The researchers distributed questionnaires among these women. Questions asked included :
- The age when they first reached orgasm through masturbation
- The age when they experienced orgasm through sexual intercourse
- Sexual activities that made them experience orgasm such as oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris, vagina or both
- The sexual position that made them orgasm more quickly
- How important attaining climax was to them
- And sexually related problems that prevented them from reaching orgasm.
The majority of the women affirmed that they reached climax easily through masturbation, with about a quarter of the women experiencing orgasm almost infrequently during sexual intercourse. A majority of the women also experienced their first orgasm through masturbation.
The study also found that sexual partners had little to no effect on orgasmic latency in women, but women who had more steady partners had more success in reaching orgasm. Only 40% of the single women in the survey reached a climax during sexual intercourse, whereas more than 50% of women with steady partners experienced orgasm during intercourse.
The majority of the women confirmed that it was really important to make sure their partners reached orgasm during intercourse, even at the expense of their own pleasure. Only a few women attached more importance to their orgasm than their partners.
About 90% of these women who placed their own orgasm before their partners had more success reaching orgasm during intercourse, and 30% of these women had multiple orgasms during their latest sexual experience.
The researchers noted that by placing more importance on their own orgasm, the women were more driven towards their pleasurable minds during intercourse than emotions.
Emotions can prompt them to discard their own pleasure aside and focus completely on their partner’s, hence making them use a considerable amount of time to reach a climax or not reaching a climax at all.
Also, women who were in happy relationships and considered sex a factor for happiness in their relationships reported having more orgasms often than those who didn’t place so much value for sex in their relationships.
From the results of the survey, the researchers noted that certain sexual positions, confidence about sexual skills, and a good physical and emotional relationship with partners all contributed to quicker and long-lasting orgasms.
TIPS ON HOW WOMEN CAN IMPROVE ORGASM
Achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse is not only pleasurable but has some health benefits as well. Health benefits associated with orgasms include; the release of chemicals that boost mood, strengthening of the immune system, providing relief for pains, and enhancing skin glow.
On this note, every woman should strive to attain orgasm as often as possible even during heterosexual intercourse. Below are some tips for improving orgasm during penetrative sex:
- Always encourage clitoral stimulation during sex
- Mix up sexual activities instead of focusing on penetration alone, sexual acts like oral stimulation during, before or after sex can help you achieve orgasm easily and quickly. You can involve sex toys too.
- Try different sexual positions. It has been found that certain women respond to sexual stimulation more quickly in certain positions than in others. Experiment with your partner and find what works for you.
- Do not fake orgasm as that would mislead your partner into thinking you’ve been fully satisfied. Instead, be more open with your partner on what works and what doesn’t work for you.
- Remember that lubrication is key to sexual arousal, encourage your partner to invest more time on acts that stimulate a sufficient production of the body’s natural lubricants. You can also use commercially produced lubricants or saliva to enhance lubrication. The more your vagina is lubricated, the more likely you are to enjoy sex and reach orgasm.
- Understand that it is okay to take long in reaching orgasm or not to reach orgasm at all. Do not hold yourself to high expectations when it comes to reaching climax during sex, this can spur on symptoms of anxiety. Try to be relaxed during intercourse and practice mindfulness. Staying in the moment during sex will help you be in sync with your sex hormones which directly translates to having better orgasms.