While etiquettes and good manners are observed in almost every part of our lives, it is usually relegated to the background when it comes to sex. Sometimes it is the little things that we do not pay attention to that actually matters, a sex habit that may come across as natural and inconsequential may just be what turns your partner off. Observing sex etiquette in the bedroom makes sex a much more enjoyable and comfortable activity. It provides room for mutual respect, tolerance, and contentment.
Adopting healthy and commendable sex habits and following acceptable guidelines will go a long way in improving your sex life and making it a much more pleasurable experience. we have compiled a list of etiquettes that you should adopt to help you better your sex life. These guidelines are not gender-biased as it applies to both men and women.
SEX ETIQUETTE ADVICE AND GUIDELINES
ALWAYS KEEP IT CLEAN
Cleanliness has a very strong impact on sexual confidence and intimacy. While being neatly groomed before sex gives you an extra boost of confidence, it also makes you desirable and appealing to your partner. It wouldn’t hurt to shave and shower before sex.
As a man, you should ensure to keep your beards and public hair neatly trimmed and your nails well-manicured. It wouldn’t be nice to poke your partner with long and dirty nails during the course of intercourse, she may not complain at that moment but she’s definitely taking notes. Remember to also pay attention to your hair cut and how nice you smell by investing in some good perfume. Pay attention to your underwear too. Keep it clean and fresh.
Women tend to be more attentive to how they look, but cleanliness goes beyond that sexy lingerie or designer perfume. For starters, getting a good wax or body treatment before sex is not a bad idea. You can invest in a spa or simply do it yourself in the comfort of your home. If you are not a big fan of waxing (yes, they can be very painful), you can opt to shave and exfoliate afterward. Keep your vagina clean and healthy and avoid douching at all costs.Also, Urinate before and after sex to cleanse your urethra from harmful bacteria and reduce the risk of infection.
Another important aspect of cleanliness that relates to sex is oral hygiene. Brush and floss properly and keep your breath fresh. Nothing is more upsetting than bad breath during sex, you do not want your partner to puke or show you the door in the middle of intercourse. For good measure, you can chew mint gum or candy before sex.
Bad breath is however unavoidable if you just woke up in the morning and want to have sex. If you are both comfortable in engaging in sexual activity as soon as you wake without brushing or flossing, then you can go for it. But if it puts you off or you think it will make you or your partner uncomfortable, then, by all means, encourage your partner to join you in brushing and flossing your teeth.
KEEP IT SAFE
Don’t ever leave the responsibility of safe sex and contraception for your partner. You should always have a condom handy if conception is not the goal. Condoms also protect both you and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Keeping condoms is not also the man’s sole responsibility, a woman can also have condoms at hand just in case he forgets to stock up.
Alternatively, there are a number of female condoms in the market which women can stock up on too. Discuss contraceptives with your partner if you are not ready to make babies. Don’t just assume she’s taking precautionary measures, be actively involved too.
BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
If you don’t open up about your preferences and dislikes when it comes to sex , your partner wouldn’t instinctively know what you want. If you are not comfortable with anything they do during sex, do not hesitate to tell them. Perhaps, he or she loves a particular sex position and you detest it, be sure to let them know in a polite manner.
Explain to them why what they do turns you off instead of suffering and taking it in silence. If you keep shut about it, it will rub off negatively on you and your sex life in the long run. Likewise, if you have particular preferences during sex, let them know and see if they are willing to give in to your request. If they are not, respect their decision and find what works for you both. Remember, communication is vital when it comes to sex.
DO NOT BYPASS FOREPLAY
You should never rush sex and leave your partner feeling unsatisfied and displeased. Build up the mood for sex by engaging in acts of foreplay. Foreplay doesn’t have to be kisses and fellatio only, explore your partner’s body and find out what makes them excited and fully aroused before intercourse and use it to full advantage.
ALWAYS ASK FOR PERMISSION
Before experimenting with any sexual position or activity, the right thing to do is to ask your partner if they are willing to do that with you. Don’t take them by surprise by switching things up in the middle of intercourse. Asking for permission beforehand will earn you your partner’s respect and prevent embarrassing outcomes. It is true that spontaneity is good during sex, but keeping your partner informed is even better.
Don’t force your partner to go down on you without knowing if they’d like it or not. As simple and inconsequential this is, there is the off chance that this might be the reason why they stopped picking your calls and ended your relationship with a flimsy excuse. If you want to try new things or engage in oral sex, do well to ask first and save the day.
As a man, you should always ask your partner if it’s okay to ejaculate on her or during oral sex before taking the initiative. Not all women find that act pleasurable. If you didn’t discuss it prior to intercourse, give her a warning signal before doing so, her reaction will tell you if she is a fan or not. If you find that she doesn’t like it, respect her decision. Always bear in mind that mutual consent is important during intercourse.
Having your phone ring or a knock on the door during intercourse can be more than just a slight annoyance. It totally disrupts the mood and may put your partner off completely. Do away with any form of avoidable distraction before having sex. For instance, you can mute your phone to avoid being interrupted by the sound of an incoming call or message.
If you must pick the call, politely excuse yourself and give your partner an explanation on why you had no choice but to pick the call. This will help put them at ease and stop them from feeling unimportant. And once you are done with the call and explanation, don’t expect to pick up from where you left off, it is best you work on setting the mood for sex again.
DON’T BE SELFISH
Sex is a two-way street, as you receive you should give too. If you he gave you mind-blowing cunnilingus, ask if he’d like fellatio in return and vice-versa. Women naturally take longer to reach orgasm, so if you have reached the peak of sexual excitement and she hasn’t, you can help her to achieve orgasm instead of leaving her to her devices.
If you are not sure whether she achieved orgasm or not, politely ask and offer to help her finish. Women, on the other hand, should learn never to fake an orgasm and should always speak up if they are not getting the satisfaction they desire. They should be able to tell their partner what makes them reach climax in a polite and respectful manner.
LEND A HELPING HAND
An important sex etiquette advice is this …your manners shouldn’t end as soon as sex is over and you’ve had your shower. We all know sex can be really messy, so who cleans the mess when it’s all over? Naturally, it will be expected that the host should take care of the cleaning, but you will be leaving a good and lasting impression if you lend a hand. Not only will your partner see you in a positive light, but he or she will be more than willing to get under the sheets again with you because everyone loves a thoughtful and kind person.
WAIT FOR THE INVITATION
The fact that you had sex in the middle of the night is not an open invitation to stay the night. It is quite uncomfortable to leave your partner’s house at late hours after sex, but if they demand that you do or show any signs of wanting you to leave, oblige them.
Better still, politely ask if you could spend the night instead of assuming you are welcome to stay. If you are the host and you want your partner to leave, be polite and respectful about it and don’t forget to put their safety into consideration. You can call an authorized cab for them and call to check if they got home safely.
IT DOESN’T END WITH SEX
You’ve observed all the necessary etiquettes and you’ve even helped to clean up, and you are thinking as far as manners go during sex, you have a clean bill. But guess what, it doesn’t end there. You should take it a step further by offering to buy and make breakfast if you are the host. Accompany her to the drug store to get the morning after pill or simply go buy it for her.
If you don’t live together, the moment you get home give your partner a call to check on them. This will earn you a place in their good books and they will be more than willing to open their doors to you the next time you come visiting.